As someone who lives by themselves I completely understand the importance of independence. It’s easy to rely on other people for you to get stuff done. Your Mam might make your food, you might get money from your parents and your study group might help you to get work done but once you’ve moved out all this falls onto your shoulders.
Take responsibility
Firstly, before you do anything else take responsibility for the position you are in today. Understand that the life you’re living right now is down the decisions you’ve made throughout your life and you’re the only one who can truly make a positive impact towards it. I understand that sometimes things in life things happen that are out of your control but what you do have is control over yourself. It can be very difficult to discipline yourself so that you are in control of not only your actions but also your thoughts. Now you’ve accepted responsibility for the past you’ve also got to take responsibility for the future. However, you’ll take more responsibility for what you’re doing. Life is so versatile and there are so many paths that you can go down but it’s you who chooses that path. Don’t let yourself blame anyone else from now on, don’t let it be said that because of a certain person you didn’t get what you wanted done. Put the pressure on yourself that if you want something done it’s you that is going to do it.
Assess your relationships
Take a look at who your spending your time with and see if you’re depending on them for anything. Ask yourself who are you depending on financially, who are you depending on for mental support and who are you depending on for your physical health. Now it’s important mentioning that being dependant isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We all need help at some point in your life and it’s complete normal for you to be somewhat dependant and trying to isolate yourself will only lead you to be unhappy. Making sure that you’re not overly dependent on people is a way to make sure that you’re able to get through difficult times without too much assistance. Even if you are quite dependant in a certain area of your life then don’t try and instantly cut them off, slowly get to the point where you’re no longer relying them. Again, I must emphasise that trying to do EVERYTHING by yourself isn’t something you should be aiming for asking people for help and maintaining good relationships with people is a crucial part of life.
Know who you are and what you believe
Many times, people struggle to say no and stand up for what they believe in and this is a large part of being independent. The number one reason people fail to say no is because the doubt themselves and are unsure of whether they truly believe it. Knowing who you are will help you to make the important decisions in your life and challenging these beliefs regularly is a healthy way to check that your beliefs are truly yours and not beliefs you’ve picked up from the company certain people.
My Independence
Here’s the list I made when I wanted to become independent:
Financially – I want to support myself and live comfortably
Studying – I want to be able to teach myself well so I couldn’t ever blame a teacher for my grade
Business/Career – I want to work for myself and live on my own schedule and not have anyone else tell me how much or what time to work
Cooking – I want to be able to cook for myself healthy foods
Chores – I want to be able to do any housework so that when I have my own house then I will be able to take care of it myself
Mental health – I want to become completely responsible for what I thought so that no one could ever make me feel like I wasn’t enough.
Physical health – I want to be in control of what I put in my body and responsible for any positive or negative effects.
I then went into detail on specifically how I wanted to become independent in these areas using SMART targets. If you want to learn more about smart targets look through my workbook 1 by clicking here!
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